The Next Day

Well, this is the part in the program where I am thankful for what I have. Such things include:
-Health (pretty much)
-Life
-Ability
-Sanity

Being There and Here

There are some days where you exist in a dead zone. Some people refer to it as being numb. The word 'numb' is not quite an accurate description.
I still feel things. I just don't care about anyone else. Well at the moment.

I recall the movie "Being There" which starred Peter Sellers in one of his better films.
As Chance the Gardner, he was definitely the tabula rasa. He was simply happy just gardening and living. People who had so much, what was considered the American Dream, were so miserably. Chance, the unformed block, provided wisdom and comfort.

I wish that I could be that but I am not.

An Epiphany

According to Avery Brooks is in the IBM commercial, "An epiphany is an awakening to the essential nature of things." Or at least, he said something to that affect.

These days, I don't like epiphanies. I largely don't like them because they mean that whatever paradigm you have been seeing the world through, is suddenly just gone.

For example, someone that you trusted has betrayed you over time. You did not want to see it because since you could not believe that anyone that you could care about or that you expended so much love for could disappoint you so much.

Or, you realize that a situation that you find yourself in is never going to get better unless you let go.

Yes, part of adulthood is dealing with epiphanies.

Luann

This is the story of my life:
http://www.luannsroom.com/comics/luann/
archive/images/luann2005228910811.gif

Poor Luann. She hoped and got lucky and she wished and planned but it looks like her miracle is not to be.

Loss

A few famous people died this week.
-Peter Jennings
-Barbara Bel-Geddes
-Double Duty

Meanwhile Cindy Sheehan is taking her grief public by calling President Bush to task.
MoveOn has a petition. I just said, "do what you think is best."

Random Observations

-Last night I spent more time waiting for public transportation than should be allowed. From here on in, i will work more on walking, at least from home to the train station.

-Law and Order SVU (I always call it SUV)was all right. I always find it funny how the show teases with implications of a relationship between Benson and Stabler or between Benson and a female peer such as a cop or a prosecutor. The only critique I have for the show is MORE Richard Belzer. There was a reason why his character has been the favorite of the "cross over artists." The fact that they took his character from Homicide: Life on the Street and placed him with SVU says it all. I would also say MORE Ice-T too but they have rectified that somewhat. Also as i understand it, he is coming out with a new album so he has been preoccupied.

-Apparently, Bonnie and Clyde have gone multicultural: http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050810/NEWS03/508100453/1017/NEWS

It has come to my attention

It has come to my attention that I have neglected many of the goals that I have set for the summer. The summer is coming to an end.

Then again, I need to put in place a real plan.

A real plan with benchmarks and all of those other fun things that are used to measure success.

I am bone tired right now.

I am interested to find out how much I can accomplish from 8-11pm tonight between "choarin'" and writing and laundry and planning.

I am slowly working on rebuilding beneficial relationships. I still have a long way to go.

I believe that part of my dilemma is being caught between extremes a lot.

I think that a colleague said it best when he said that he hoped that I can find what I am looking for. That's the key isn't it?