AAEA or African American Environmentalist Association I first found out about them at their MSN Group. They also have a blog that I read regulary. I know that for some and "African American Environmentalist Association" seems like an oxymoron. Well there are many that care about and are active in environmental issues. I came across this post at their blog:
http://aaenvironment.blogspot.com/2005/12/environment-of-many-black-women.html
and feel compelled to make plain my views on this topic.
Uhhh...as a Black woman who is approaching the age bracket I would say that I would say while it is good to have companionship-a lover-it is not the end all and be all. The situation is what it is. Instead of directing anger at Black men who for whatever reason is not into you, be thankful that you have a life and choices and the ability to give and to receive love.I am tired of hearing complaints about what a sin it is for a Black man to be gay or underemployed or into [insert the name of any race except Black] women. What I don't hear enough of are the Black women who are successful and who have carved out lives for themselves and careers that they are happy with. I drives me nuts that the message to the next generation of girls is that no matter how successful you are and how productive a citizen you are, it means nothing unless you have a man in your life. then you are complete.I also do note that apparently this except speaks to the "plight" of heterosexual Black women who are not gay or bisexual or who are facing a serious illness or that may choose to accept the love and respect of a man who is not Black. A plight that I am sure is real but in many cases is not seeing the forest for the trees.Adoption is an option in regards to children. Last I checked there is an overflowing list of children who seek a loving parent to adopt. Artificial insemenation (ai) is another option for those who want children but who do not wish to adopt.You can also mentor or become a foster parent. By the way, no one "turns" to lesbianism. Your sexuality is just a part of who you are. Just like no one "turns" to heterosexualism. Such a statement is demonstrates misinformation about lesbians and bisexuals. At the end of the day, whether you have the perfect ideal nuclear family with that perfect Black man or not, you die ALONE. You have one shot at life. You can spend it caterwauling about things that you either cannot or should not control and how things should be or you can be thankful for what you have, let go of what didn't work and learn from it and be the author of your own story with you as a hero that is fulfilled by what you accomplished during your time as person.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Get Out
Last night I arrived home after trekking in the cold and slush. I once again vowed never to depend on public transportation again. I was also cursing myself because I allowed my stomach to rule my head. (I decided to buy dinner at the Store 24 instead of forego it).
As I waited for the pot pie I purchased to bake, I picked up a well worn book I had unearthed some time ago. The title is Women Who Run With the Wolves. It is by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. Dr. Estés is a therapist (one of many talents) who has used stories and myths to as a methods of teaching life lessons.
I just happened to open to the section that concerned the story of The Little Match Girl. The Little Match Girl sold matches on the street to bring in money or else risked getting beat by her father who did not seem to care that his daughter was cold and underfed. She goes through the city trying to sell matches to people who are clearly not interested. It gets colder and later. She has not sold the matches and she cannot go home without the money. She sits on the stoop of a building. Across the street she sees a family inside a house celebrating the holidays season. It is a house filled with love, comfort and warmth-things that she does not have. As she gets colder, she begins to strike the matches to try to stay warm. She begins to daydream. Then she begans to run out of matches. Then, her grandmother appears before her. She comforts her and they ascend in a blaze of light. The next morning, the girl is found dead on the stoop.
Dr. Estés' reading of the story is that this girl made decisions that just kept backing herself into corners. She also kept avoiding her problem by daydreaming instead of finding real and practical solutions to her problems.
For example, the girl lit the matches to keep warm instead of knocking on the doors of the homes around her and asking for shelter. Instead of asking people for help (real shelter, a job, some food) she was trying to sell them matches. People, especially females, engage in this behaviour far too often and then live half-lived lives because of it.
Dr. Estés also reminds us that if you are in an untenable situation-you need to get out. What is 'untenable'? Any situation where you are not nutured, where you are beaten down, where you cannot thrive, where the cost of remaining far outweighs the cost of making a clean break.
The Match Girl lived with a father who did not care about her unless she brought home money from selling matches, which he did not share with her. He also beat her when she did not sell any matches.
The Match Girl was also trying to sell matches to people who clearly were not interested in what she was selling. More importantly, they did not care about the fact that there was a hungry, cold child out on the streets selling matches when she should be at home, warm and cared for.
The girl's response to everything was to just go into a corner and give herself up to comforting daydreams. Thus she died, which solved her immediate problems of food and shelter but oh, what she could have been!
One of the last lessons that adults learn as they become adults is when to move on. When to leave or at least, when to leave situations that are just not working.
We all have a very real fear of the unknown or of making a mistake-especially if we grew up in the "Bests the Dead Horse Clan."
As mentioned before, we only have one shot. It is best to live it on your own terms, which may vary from person to person. Living a half-lived life wrapped in comforting daydreams on the sidelines in an environment that you are not thriving in is definitely not living.
As I waited for the pot pie I purchased to bake, I picked up a well worn book I had unearthed some time ago. The title is Women Who Run With the Wolves. It is by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. Dr. Estés is a therapist (one of many talents) who has used stories and myths to as a methods of teaching life lessons.
I just happened to open to the section that concerned the story of The Little Match Girl. The Little Match Girl sold matches on the street to bring in money or else risked getting beat by her father who did not seem to care that his daughter was cold and underfed. She goes through the city trying to sell matches to people who are clearly not interested. It gets colder and later. She has not sold the matches and she cannot go home without the money. She sits on the stoop of a building. Across the street she sees a family inside a house celebrating the holidays season. It is a house filled with love, comfort and warmth-things that she does not have. As she gets colder, she begins to strike the matches to try to stay warm. She begins to daydream. Then she begans to run out of matches. Then, her grandmother appears before her. She comforts her and they ascend in a blaze of light. The next morning, the girl is found dead on the stoop.
Dr. Estés' reading of the story is that this girl made decisions that just kept backing herself into corners. She also kept avoiding her problem by daydreaming instead of finding real and practical solutions to her problems.
For example, the girl lit the matches to keep warm instead of knocking on the doors of the homes around her and asking for shelter. Instead of asking people for help (real shelter, a job, some food) she was trying to sell them matches. People, especially females, engage in this behaviour far too often and then live half-lived lives because of it.
Dr. Estés also reminds us that if you are in an untenable situation-you need to get out. What is 'untenable'? Any situation where you are not nutured, where you are beaten down, where you cannot thrive, where the cost of remaining far outweighs the cost of making a clean break.
The Match Girl lived with a father who did not care about her unless she brought home money from selling matches, which he did not share with her. He also beat her when she did not sell any matches.
The Match Girl was also trying to sell matches to people who clearly were not interested in what she was selling. More importantly, they did not care about the fact that there was a hungry, cold child out on the streets selling matches when she should be at home, warm and cared for.
The girl's response to everything was to just go into a corner and give herself up to comforting daydreams. Thus she died, which solved her immediate problems of food and shelter but oh, what she could have been!
One of the last lessons that adults learn as they become adults is when to move on. When to leave or at least, when to leave situations that are just not working.
We all have a very real fear of the unknown or of making a mistake-especially if we grew up in the "Bests the Dead Horse Clan."
As mentioned before, we only have one shot. It is best to live it on your own terms, which may vary from person to person. Living a half-lived life wrapped in comforting daydreams on the sidelines in an environment that you are not thriving in is definitely not living.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Tookie and Death
Well, I too must weigh in on Tookie Williams' impeding execution at 3:01AM (EST).
It has been said that Tookie is guilty.
It has been said that Tookie is innocent.
It has been said that Tookie is guilty but he changed while spending 20 years on death row and has become a force for good. Killing him would make things worse.
I have always been something of a fence sitter when it comes to the death penalty. I believe that the guilty should be punished. The heinous should be executed rather than languishing at the taxpayers' expense. On the other hand, we cannot ignore that the justice system has failed in terms of dealing fairly with those who are Black, Latino, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, poor and other minorities. You can pick up a newspapaer and read on any given day about how DNA evidence or due diligence has liberated some poor unfortunate that was a victim of [insert the name of a prejudice].
I feel that as good as it is to hear that Tookie has changed and that he was trying to affect change, he still committed a crime. He claims that he did not do it but I then question why he applied for clemency since this meant that he wanted a pardon, not that he was innocent.
I think if Tookie's life and death can be deterrent to those who want to rob and kill because they see that as the only way out of crushing poverty, then he did do some good.
Being a "man" means that you have to take responsibility for things that you do, especially when they harm others. Life is fragile and precious. Second chances are rarely granted.
As the saying goes, we never appreciate what we have until it's gone. I suppose Tookie is thinking about that right now.
It has been said that Tookie is guilty.
It has been said that Tookie is innocent.
It has been said that Tookie is guilty but he changed while spending 20 years on death row and has become a force for good. Killing him would make things worse.
I have always been something of a fence sitter when it comes to the death penalty. I believe that the guilty should be punished. The heinous should be executed rather than languishing at the taxpayers' expense. On the other hand, we cannot ignore that the justice system has failed in terms of dealing fairly with those who are Black, Latino, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, poor and other minorities. You can pick up a newspapaer and read on any given day about how DNA evidence or due diligence has liberated some poor unfortunate that was a victim of [insert the name of a prejudice].
I feel that as good as it is to hear that Tookie has changed and that he was trying to affect change, he still committed a crime. He claims that he did not do it but I then question why he applied for clemency since this meant that he wanted a pardon, not that he was innocent.
I think if Tookie's life and death can be deterrent to those who want to rob and kill because they see that as the only way out of crushing poverty, then he did do some good.
Being a "man" means that you have to take responsibility for things that you do, especially when they harm others. Life is fragile and precious. Second chances are rarely granted.
As the saying goes, we never appreciate what we have until it's gone. I suppose Tookie is thinking about that right now.
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