AAEA or African American Environmentalist Association I first found out about them at their MSN Group. They also have a blog that I read regulary. I know that for some and "African American Environmentalist Association" seems like an oxymoron. Well there are many that care about and are active in environmental issues. I came across this post at their blog:
http://aaenvironment.blogspot.com/2005/12/environment-of-many-black-women.html
and feel compelled to make plain my views on this topic.
Uhhh...as a Black woman who is approaching the age bracket I would say that I would say while it is good to have companionship-a lover-it is not the end all and be all. The situation is what it is. Instead of directing anger at Black men who for whatever reason is not into you, be thankful that you have a life and choices and the ability to give and to receive love.I am tired of hearing complaints about what a sin it is for a Black man to be gay or underemployed or into [insert the name of any race except Black] women. What I don't hear enough of are the Black women who are successful and who have carved out lives for themselves and careers that they are happy with. I drives me nuts that the message to the next generation of girls is that no matter how successful you are and how productive a citizen you are, it means nothing unless you have a man in your life. then you are complete.I also do note that apparently this except speaks to the "plight" of heterosexual Black women who are not gay or bisexual or who are facing a serious illness or that may choose to accept the love and respect of a man who is not Black. A plight that I am sure is real but in many cases is not seeing the forest for the trees.Adoption is an option in regards to children. Last I checked there is an overflowing list of children who seek a loving parent to adopt. Artificial insemenation (ai) is another option for those who want children but who do not wish to adopt.You can also mentor or become a foster parent. By the way, no one "turns" to lesbianism. Your sexuality is just a part of who you are. Just like no one "turns" to heterosexualism. Such a statement is demonstrates misinformation about lesbians and bisexuals. At the end of the day, whether you have the perfect ideal nuclear family with that perfect Black man or not, you die ALONE. You have one shot at life. You can spend it caterwauling about things that you either cannot or should not control and how things should be or you can be thankful for what you have, let go of what didn't work and learn from it and be the author of your own story with you as a hero that is fulfilled by what you accomplished during your time as person.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Get Out
Last night I arrived home after trekking in the cold and slush. I once again vowed never to depend on public transportation again. I was also cursing myself because I allowed my stomach to rule my head. (I decided to buy dinner at the Store 24 instead of forego it).
As I waited for the pot pie I purchased to bake, I picked up a well worn book I had unearthed some time ago. The title is Women Who Run With the Wolves. It is by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. Dr. Estés is a therapist (one of many talents) who has used stories and myths to as a methods of teaching life lessons.
I just happened to open to the section that concerned the story of The Little Match Girl. The Little Match Girl sold matches on the street to bring in money or else risked getting beat by her father who did not seem to care that his daughter was cold and underfed. She goes through the city trying to sell matches to people who are clearly not interested. It gets colder and later. She has not sold the matches and she cannot go home without the money. She sits on the stoop of a building. Across the street she sees a family inside a house celebrating the holidays season. It is a house filled with love, comfort and warmth-things that she does not have. As she gets colder, she begins to strike the matches to try to stay warm. She begins to daydream. Then she begans to run out of matches. Then, her grandmother appears before her. She comforts her and they ascend in a blaze of light. The next morning, the girl is found dead on the stoop.
Dr. Estés' reading of the story is that this girl made decisions that just kept backing herself into corners. She also kept avoiding her problem by daydreaming instead of finding real and practical solutions to her problems.
For example, the girl lit the matches to keep warm instead of knocking on the doors of the homes around her and asking for shelter. Instead of asking people for help (real shelter, a job, some food) she was trying to sell them matches. People, especially females, engage in this behaviour far too often and then live half-lived lives because of it.
Dr. Estés also reminds us that if you are in an untenable situation-you need to get out. What is 'untenable'? Any situation where you are not nutured, where you are beaten down, where you cannot thrive, where the cost of remaining far outweighs the cost of making a clean break.
The Match Girl lived with a father who did not care about her unless she brought home money from selling matches, which he did not share with her. He also beat her when she did not sell any matches.
The Match Girl was also trying to sell matches to people who clearly were not interested in what she was selling. More importantly, they did not care about the fact that there was a hungry, cold child out on the streets selling matches when she should be at home, warm and cared for.
The girl's response to everything was to just go into a corner and give herself up to comforting daydreams. Thus she died, which solved her immediate problems of food and shelter but oh, what she could have been!
One of the last lessons that adults learn as they become adults is when to move on. When to leave or at least, when to leave situations that are just not working.
We all have a very real fear of the unknown or of making a mistake-especially if we grew up in the "Bests the Dead Horse Clan."
As mentioned before, we only have one shot. It is best to live it on your own terms, which may vary from person to person. Living a half-lived life wrapped in comforting daydreams on the sidelines in an environment that you are not thriving in is definitely not living.
As I waited for the pot pie I purchased to bake, I picked up a well worn book I had unearthed some time ago. The title is Women Who Run With the Wolves. It is by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. Dr. Estés is a therapist (one of many talents) who has used stories and myths to as a methods of teaching life lessons.
I just happened to open to the section that concerned the story of The Little Match Girl. The Little Match Girl sold matches on the street to bring in money or else risked getting beat by her father who did not seem to care that his daughter was cold and underfed. She goes through the city trying to sell matches to people who are clearly not interested. It gets colder and later. She has not sold the matches and she cannot go home without the money. She sits on the stoop of a building. Across the street she sees a family inside a house celebrating the holidays season. It is a house filled with love, comfort and warmth-things that she does not have. As she gets colder, she begins to strike the matches to try to stay warm. She begins to daydream. Then she begans to run out of matches. Then, her grandmother appears before her. She comforts her and they ascend in a blaze of light. The next morning, the girl is found dead on the stoop.
Dr. Estés' reading of the story is that this girl made decisions that just kept backing herself into corners. She also kept avoiding her problem by daydreaming instead of finding real and practical solutions to her problems.
For example, the girl lit the matches to keep warm instead of knocking on the doors of the homes around her and asking for shelter. Instead of asking people for help (real shelter, a job, some food) she was trying to sell them matches. People, especially females, engage in this behaviour far too often and then live half-lived lives because of it.
Dr. Estés also reminds us that if you are in an untenable situation-you need to get out. What is 'untenable'? Any situation where you are not nutured, where you are beaten down, where you cannot thrive, where the cost of remaining far outweighs the cost of making a clean break.
The Match Girl lived with a father who did not care about her unless she brought home money from selling matches, which he did not share with her. He also beat her when she did not sell any matches.
The Match Girl was also trying to sell matches to people who clearly were not interested in what she was selling. More importantly, they did not care about the fact that there was a hungry, cold child out on the streets selling matches when she should be at home, warm and cared for.
The girl's response to everything was to just go into a corner and give herself up to comforting daydreams. Thus she died, which solved her immediate problems of food and shelter but oh, what she could have been!
One of the last lessons that adults learn as they become adults is when to move on. When to leave or at least, when to leave situations that are just not working.
We all have a very real fear of the unknown or of making a mistake-especially if we grew up in the "Bests the Dead Horse Clan."
As mentioned before, we only have one shot. It is best to live it on your own terms, which may vary from person to person. Living a half-lived life wrapped in comforting daydreams on the sidelines in an environment that you are not thriving in is definitely not living.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Tookie and Death
Well, I too must weigh in on Tookie Williams' impeding execution at 3:01AM (EST).
It has been said that Tookie is guilty.
It has been said that Tookie is innocent.
It has been said that Tookie is guilty but he changed while spending 20 years on death row and has become a force for good. Killing him would make things worse.
I have always been something of a fence sitter when it comes to the death penalty. I believe that the guilty should be punished. The heinous should be executed rather than languishing at the taxpayers' expense. On the other hand, we cannot ignore that the justice system has failed in terms of dealing fairly with those who are Black, Latino, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, poor and other minorities. You can pick up a newspapaer and read on any given day about how DNA evidence or due diligence has liberated some poor unfortunate that was a victim of [insert the name of a prejudice].
I feel that as good as it is to hear that Tookie has changed and that he was trying to affect change, he still committed a crime. He claims that he did not do it but I then question why he applied for clemency since this meant that he wanted a pardon, not that he was innocent.
I think if Tookie's life and death can be deterrent to those who want to rob and kill because they see that as the only way out of crushing poverty, then he did do some good.
Being a "man" means that you have to take responsibility for things that you do, especially when they harm others. Life is fragile and precious. Second chances are rarely granted.
As the saying goes, we never appreciate what we have until it's gone. I suppose Tookie is thinking about that right now.
It has been said that Tookie is guilty.
It has been said that Tookie is innocent.
It has been said that Tookie is guilty but he changed while spending 20 years on death row and has become a force for good. Killing him would make things worse.
I have always been something of a fence sitter when it comes to the death penalty. I believe that the guilty should be punished. The heinous should be executed rather than languishing at the taxpayers' expense. On the other hand, we cannot ignore that the justice system has failed in terms of dealing fairly with those who are Black, Latino, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, poor and other minorities. You can pick up a newspapaer and read on any given day about how DNA evidence or due diligence has liberated some poor unfortunate that was a victim of [insert the name of a prejudice].
I feel that as good as it is to hear that Tookie has changed and that he was trying to affect change, he still committed a crime. He claims that he did not do it but I then question why he applied for clemency since this meant that he wanted a pardon, not that he was innocent.
I think if Tookie's life and death can be deterrent to those who want to rob and kill because they see that as the only way out of crushing poverty, then he did do some good.
Being a "man" means that you have to take responsibility for things that you do, especially when they harm others. Life is fragile and precious. Second chances are rarely granted.
As the saying goes, we never appreciate what we have until it's gone. I suppose Tookie is thinking about that right now.
Wednesday, December 7, 2005
Another lesson
Well, procrastination is a sin and John Wooden was quite right when he said, "Be quick but don't hurry."
I was given the opportunity to apply for a position that would have brought more responsibility and more money at times.
I allowed self doubt and crowding out of time to distract from completing it.
Consequently, those who found the time to complete the applications and let go of their fear of rejection were announced as having obtained the position.
Not coincidentally, they were men.
I was given the opportunity to apply for a position that would have brought more responsibility and more money at times.
I allowed self doubt and crowding out of time to distract from completing it.
Consequently, those who found the time to complete the applications and let go of their fear of rejection were announced as having obtained the position.
Not coincidentally, they were men.
What I learned yesterday
I learned two important lessons during the course of the day yesterday that we all should be mindful of.
Lesson #1: Never be a passive participant in life
I took a cab to work because I was running late. I gave what I thought were clear directions and gave a particular direction to my location and I assumed that the driver would find it without me going, "Turn right here." Well I was wrong. I chose to let myself be distracted by various thoughts instead of making sure that the driver was taking the correct route. As a result, I ended up being late for work, when I normally would have made it on time with time to spare. There are times that I worried about being too much of a "backseat driver," but I was shown clearly that when you lose focus, you lose out.
Lesson #2: Be Careful What you Wish For Because You Might Just Get It!
I have particpated in a local chorus for about 6 years. I have had my ups and downs with it. This semester was challenging because of work and other competing interests. It was also challenging because of the music, which I mostly did not connect with this time around and the choral director and the chorus, which I also did not connect as much with this time around.
I did not go to the first two rehearsals since I did not intend to participate this semester. The choral director sent out an email and mentioned that she wanted me and I decided to give it
one more go. The director mentioned sometime ago that she did have an attention span problem which would rear its ugly head at times and try my patience. I am sure that my work schedule tried hers since my flexibility changed from when I first began working with her from some flexibility to "I can come on this date, this date and this date..." I also suppose it was hard for me to still to transition from a situation where I felt included by the previous choral director to one where I had difficulty trying find my place as it were and not succeeding very well.
Well, I managed finally as in years past to find the one or two songs that I could at least like a little in the repetoire and worked as hard as I generally do. I also battled AFS (Alto Fatigue Syndrome). Having tasted mezzo-soprano, I found alto work to be boring at times and unless you're hunting for it, there are no solos for altos that soar and are "pretty."
Add to that, when I found out how the concert would be structured, I honestly wanted to kill the choral director. Why commit murder? Well, she put together this wonderful program and she waits until the week before the concert to unveil it. Also part of my difficulty was not really seeing how all of this hodge podge of music was going to shape up into a solid concert. I took a deep breath and soldiered on.
We performed the concert-the best one yet with the students. Then we found out that the choral director was not coming back. Her reasons were valid-she had a small son and the school where this chorus belonged simply did not support her efforts to make it a strong program.
The latter was so very true. The school would always praise the chorus but that praise did not translate into a bigger budget or even an office for her where she could store music. The chorus was always treated as an afterthought-this was true in her predecessor's case as well. One could argue that the school is known for its education program, so it would make sense that a chorus would be a low priority. However, there are schools who have strong sports teams and strong extracurricular programs that have no relation to the school's concentration.
Before the concert, I determined that I would not return next semester, since I felt that another break (I had taken one in 2004 for a semester) might do me some good. Now, it looks like the break will be longer than I thought.
I began to wonder if there was something I could have done to help her stay. I started regretting the times I felt resentment and frustration. I regretted the times where I just wished that I did not have to go because all I wanted to do was go home. I took the chorus for granted-that it would be around that it. There are many things that was still left for the chorus and myself to do. I had been with the "second coming" of this chorus where it grew from three to twenty three. I remembered "when." Now there would be no next year or next time (at least for now) and that makes me sad.
Lesson #1: Never be a passive participant in life
I took a cab to work because I was running late. I gave what I thought were clear directions and gave a particular direction to my location and I assumed that the driver would find it without me going, "Turn right here." Well I was wrong. I chose to let myself be distracted by various thoughts instead of making sure that the driver was taking the correct route. As a result, I ended up being late for work, when I normally would have made it on time with time to spare. There are times that I worried about being too much of a "backseat driver," but I was shown clearly that when you lose focus, you lose out.
Lesson #2: Be Careful What you Wish For Because You Might Just Get It!
I have particpated in a local chorus for about 6 years. I have had my ups and downs with it. This semester was challenging because of work and other competing interests. It was also challenging because of the music, which I mostly did not connect with this time around and the choral director and the chorus, which I also did not connect as much with this time around.
I did not go to the first two rehearsals since I did not intend to participate this semester. The choral director sent out an email and mentioned that she wanted me and I decided to give it
one more go. The director mentioned sometime ago that she did have an attention span problem which would rear its ugly head at times and try my patience. I am sure that my work schedule tried hers since my flexibility changed from when I first began working with her from some flexibility to "I can come on this date, this date and this date..." I also suppose it was hard for me to still to transition from a situation where I felt included by the previous choral director to one where I had difficulty trying find my place as it were and not succeeding very well.
Well, I managed finally as in years past to find the one or two songs that I could at least like a little in the repetoire and worked as hard as I generally do. I also battled AFS (Alto Fatigue Syndrome). Having tasted mezzo-soprano, I found alto work to be boring at times and unless you're hunting for it, there are no solos for altos that soar and are "pretty."
Add to that, when I found out how the concert would be structured, I honestly wanted to kill the choral director. Why commit murder? Well, she put together this wonderful program and she waits until the week before the concert to unveil it. Also part of my difficulty was not really seeing how all of this hodge podge of music was going to shape up into a solid concert. I took a deep breath and soldiered on.
We performed the concert-the best one yet with the students. Then we found out that the choral director was not coming back. Her reasons were valid-she had a small son and the school where this chorus belonged simply did not support her efforts to make it a strong program.
The latter was so very true. The school would always praise the chorus but that praise did not translate into a bigger budget or even an office for her where she could store music. The chorus was always treated as an afterthought-this was true in her predecessor's case as well. One could argue that the school is known for its education program, so it would make sense that a chorus would be a low priority. However, there are schools who have strong sports teams and strong extracurricular programs that have no relation to the school's concentration.
Before the concert, I determined that I would not return next semester, since I felt that another break (I had taken one in 2004 for a semester) might do me some good. Now, it looks like the break will be longer than I thought.
I began to wonder if there was something I could have done to help her stay. I started regretting the times I felt resentment and frustration. I regretted the times where I just wished that I did not have to go because all I wanted to do was go home. I took the chorus for granted-that it would be around that it. There are many things that was still left for the chorus and myself to do. I had been with the "second coming" of this chorus where it grew from three to twenty three. I remembered "when." Now there would be no next year or next time (at least for now) and that makes me sad.
Monday, December 5, 2005
Voices from Around the World-Lesley University Singers Concert-Tuesday December 6
Voices from Around the World-a Lesley University Singers Concert
Tuesday December 6, 2005
8:00PM
Marran Theatre, Lesley University, 29 Mellen Street, Cambridge MA
http://www.lesley.edu
Admission is free
Tuesday December 6, 2005
8:00PM
Marran Theatre, Lesley University, 29 Mellen Street, Cambridge MA
http://www.lesley.edu
Admission is free
Sunday, December 4, 2005
I am...again...
| Your Birth Month is January |
 Your soul reflects: deep love, fascination with life, and a distinctive persona Your gemstone: Garnet Your flower: Snowdrop Your colors: Black, dark red, and dark blue |
What Does Your Birth Month Mean?
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Review: The Tale of the Dark Crystal
The Tale of the Dark Crystal by Donna Bass My rating: 4 of 5 stars View all my reviews
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AAEA or African American Environmentalist Association I first found out about them at their MSN Group . They also have a blog that I read r...
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the Rev. Fredric John Muir October 26, 1997 http://www.uuca-md.org/sermons/ikigai.html Some years ago, I shared a story about ikigai. I didn...
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Reblogged from RedCrossEastMA: "Some old and really awesome Red Cross uniforms recently made their way to Cambridge, so natur...
