Thursday, May 19, 2005

Endings and other things

Let's see.
-In one week I move to a new place which is good but also sad as partings usually are. I was hit with all sorts of nostalgia Friday.
-Tonight we will find out if Street Smarts or Book Smarts wins.
-"ER" will find out if they can continue on without a main character to use as a comapass. I still think the best goodbye episode was Mark Green's last one in 2002. I still also maintain that this should have been that season's finale. I don't expect Carter's to top it and honestly, I liked the episode that preceded it when Carter was the focus.
-In one week the company I work for lost at least 5 people.
-It looks like Maytag will be gone.
I am sure that there are other endings that mean something but I don't know them yet.

I am sure that you are all seeking the juicy stuff. The confessional, the "reveal".
Well, let's see. The only thing I can think of is that on two separate occasions I wanted very much to sleep with two supervisors. i don't know if I wanted to have long term relationships with either. I had the safety of both being employed so I could not logically make a move and mess up the natural order of things.
One was out of my reach anyway since she has a boyfriend. It did come to pass that one left not on his time schedule. Now that he was essentially free, there was nothing to stop me. However, like Spock said in "Amok Time" to Ston, 'you will find that having a thing and wanting a thing are two different things' or somthing to that effect. It was funny because I did have a dream where I asked the essential question.
The other rub is that there is another. I quite like him and have thought for the past year, that i would marry him. Not unlike Carter, I planned for a ring and was like Carter going to present it to Abby. But then, like Carter, I realized the essential truth that we were never going to be a "we" unless he sorted out his family situation, not unlike Abby. So like most of my life, I am in limbo.

The problem with being in limbo is that time passes and once you come out of it you are in shock at how much time passes. You can't save time. You can spend it wisely or foolishly and like Dorothy West's mother once said, "a day lost is a day gone forever."

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