Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Things that I have learned yesterday but am typing today

1. Apparently the beautiful scarf that my sister brought back from Barbados is a doo rag.
2. Alison is no longer with the company.
3. Charlie's frog still has no name.
4. David is apparently mean according to Charlie's roommate. [He was just really tired as confirmed through conversation today]
5. It is still possible to wake up with smoke in your clothes even if you did not smoke.
6. It was good to meet others that found Victor a little "strange."
7. It does take three Guinnesses to make the Sam Adams go down.
8. I was amused at the fact that Charlie wanted to hear me talk about Lee and Grant because sometimes I bore myself thinking about it.
9. Alison thought I did not like her which was sad and teaches me that the "all I have to do is be is Black and to die" attitude I have needs to be amended at times. I am glad that we were cool although I was bratty about the couch thing: "Come on....She's cute. What do you mean you sleep on one couch and she sleeps on another...."
10. Apparently I am a racist because if I were to choose the sperm donor of my children, I would want them to turn out like Garrison, where they would fit into my family's color scheme (no pun intended) rather than a pale face.
11. I learned that Charlie is something of the United Nations although I think the "Italian" bit surprised me just like Alison surprised me with her ethnicity. Although, I am glad that we are all just American really.
12. Jamie has some interesting extracurricular activities and apparently would be willing to clear his weekend schedule for someone who is extremely talented in fellatio.
"I have a bag of tricks...."
13. Sex toys often do not carry over to the next girlfriend.
14. Charlie is a prude
15. Charlie is not gay. It is a coincidence that he shops at the Gap and prefers styling the heads of Barbie dolls and crosses his legs and has that goatee thing going on.
16. Dave does the funniest impression of David Lopez. "Oh my shoes...." Although it sounded like the ghetto version of Agador-spartacus from The Bird Cage.
17. David Lopez lives in Quincy.
18. Awilda takes in more than people realize.
19. Alison is smarter and more down to earth that people think.
20. Paul reminds one of a manga character from Rumiko Takahashi's Maison Ikkoku. He is quiet and sardonic in terms and then he disappears.
21. It is official. She has been renamed Harbage.
22. Apparently I am rich.
23. Everyone can talk about more than just the job. (This is a good thing because it means that I might consider socializing more with people from work)
24. Victor would apologize for not his perception of not meeting expectations.
25. Apparently Ian is Matt's gay lover. I am sure that this will come as pleasant news to Ian's wife.
26. Charlie's roommate is named Mike and he dates a vegetarian which means that he will be a vegetarian until they break up.
27. Apparently Murderstreet is the album that I need to listed to.
28. Apparently Mary can look cuter than she does if she did not look so defeated. Right...Again I say, "You men...."
29. Water is a wonderful thing. It keeps the hangovers away.
30. Apparently "Adult" is playing at the Middle East.
31. Apparently I am a sadist, sexist and racist because I prefer Garrison as a donor, Elizabeth as something to have about the house and because of the fact that I liked to ask complex math questions as a man approached climax.
32. Charlie's roommate has red hair.
33. Maroon is not a good colour for Charlie.
34. Jamie is one of the last Miller Lite drinkers on the East Coast.
35. Apparently being married to me is horrid.
36. Paul's phone is larger than my two hands.
37. Charlie took photos of the lovely Awilda and the guys but took none of me...
38. Apparently we all need to be doing something else for work.
39. According to Charles, all white people smell like bologna.
40. Also according to Charles, there is something wrong with my being a "do-gooder."
41. Apparently I stole free postcards.
42. That working on rush just dumped on you just under a half an hour before you leave will cause you to miss chorus. However drinking at Three Cheers is a good alternative.
43. Three Cheers is just as empty on Tuesday nights as on Mondays even during football season.
44. Suicide is painless and it brings on many changes.
45. It's time for me to go back to being normal.
46. Alison is very arts and kids oriented. I hope she goes onto something great.
47. Apparently Charlie enjoys sending Garrison "adult pictures."
48. I think that Victor would be amusing in bed because he would probably introduce off the wall things but then apologize because it's weird and I am a nice girl and so forth.
49. Victor was in a frat and apparently Matt is upset because he is a straight white male and I would not sleep with him because I prefer blonde women (sometimes) and black men and women (although I have been known to sleep with men with dark hair that amuse me).
50. Charlie would avoid having sex because he would rather watch Jerry Springer or style Barbie dolls' hair. Or he could introduce the doll in the bed while watching Jerry Springer or he would actually have the sex just so he could smoke a cigarette afterward.

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