Have you ever seen the rain?

Normally, not a huge CCR (Creedence Clearwater Revival) fan but this is one of my favorite songs, especially since it was featured in my favorite show, CBS's "Cold Case." The sequence at the end where they lead the criminal away and the rain falls down with the music as a backdrop was striking. When I noticed that Shaun Cassidy was one of the executive producers I went, "Oh, okay." Though nowadays I see Tim Matheson's name here and again.

Arizona and getting it done

I was home to watch two of the "elite eight" NCAA finals games and both of the teams that I wanted to win, lost. West Virginia wasn't a loss I took as hard. Louisville was a good team. Arizona's loss broke my heart. They were victimized by the same circumstance that pulled them by Oklahoma State. The Illini were good and defended the boards well.

I wish that I could be there to say to certain teams that if they do not nothing else, they should not let the game go into overtime. Overtime is a risky proposition. While both Arizona and West Virginia manage some spectacular wins in OT, more often than not they get crushed in OT, especially Arizona. Admittedly though, sometimes it is a feeling. I will watch a game and sometimes I think, "Get it to OT." Other times I think, "No, you cannot let this go into OT. Finish them off now." I got that feeling yesterday with the Arizona/Illinois game. I did feel that if Illinois got the 5 minute reprieve, they would catch their second wind, which they did. They took nothing for granted and put points up like there was no tomorrow. Arizona did a great job coming back but time just ran out and at least they could say that it wasn't a rout. They lost only by 1 point, which sometimes is the hardest loss of all. One bucket, one 3 pointer, one foul, one other screen and your destiny could have been different.

The lesson here that I take from the Arizona loss is that you have to get it done now.

Dreams

I had a dream today that I had not had in a long time.

It was a sensation really. It was a contented feeling that I get when in that state of light sleep and the weather is just warm enough to feel wonderful, but not hot or humid. If I had to out a "degree" to it, the degree would be 67 degrees Fahrenheit.

I associate it with the best feeling about being a kid. It is a sensation that rarely comes along. There are times where I don't want to wake up and have it end. I feel "unbearable lightness of being." I feel like I can do anything.

It's not a manic high. I don't think I can take on the world. I think it is a benign thing to remind me that life can be good.

Life and Death

Terri Schiavo and Jeff Weise are an interesting juxtaposition. One is the woman who can't chose at this point whether to live or die and the other is the boy who chose to die and chose others to die with him.

Many people, including myself, have posted their various opinions on these subjects. I have seen everything from outpourings of grief and sympathy to downright rage against various systems and individuals-even Terri Schiavo for not leaving a living will.

Somewhere buried in all of this, was noted the passing of Bobby Short, a cabaret singer of note whose career spanned the spectrum of entertainment and the passing of Barney Martin, who became famous for playing Jerry Seinfeld's annoying father Morty in addition to a 20 year career as a policeman.

Both men died of cancer, a killer if there ever was one. I do wonder what each would have said to Jeff Weise. After all, Jeff was a teenager, whose wisdom teeth had not come in yet. These men lived until their 80s and knew love and loss and good times and hard times. Could they have told him that there would have been a tomorrow? That no matter how painful it is, there is something to live for? That you can evolve over the course of your life?

I imagine that the Barney Martin that was close to Jeff's age and that went into the Navy as a pilot would not have imagined himself as an actor on Broadway or TV, much less a part of what is now considered classic television. Bobby Short was the ultimate child actor in vaudeville who had to also deal with racism. That Bobby Short could not have been able to see the day when he would not only play the Cafe Carlyle in New York City but be allowed to dine in the Cafe Carlyle and book a room at the Carlyle Hotel. Heck, he probably could not have foreseen a day when he would be able to walk through the front door of the Carlyle Hotel.

Would both men counsel Terri's family to remember her as she was and that sometimes you have to know when to let go? Would they tell them to find strength in what is left behind and live the remaining years they have to the full in Terri's memory?

I don't know.

I do know that though many of us believe in reincarnation, we really only do have one life to live and we should live it to the full and try not to leave any carnage along the way. We should look ahead because we will all face that time when we need to let go.

Michelle Kwan's Olympic run revisited

I have always loved Michelle Kwan. I remember her as the talented 14 year old that turned more than a few heads at the 1994 US Nationals and that had not a certain crowbar incident took place, she definitely would have been the revelation of the event. She also would have gone to the Olympics since the rule regarding age had not been established yet.

Jump forward to 1998. Michelle had a pretty good season. She injured her foot but she was still solid and confident. She also had competition on the homefront. Tara Lipinski, who set the juniors' on fire does the same at the senior level. She took the gold in the 1997 World's and continuously nips at Michelle's heels until she gets in her Nagano. The difference of a triple-triple combination was the difference between Michelle getting the Olympic gold. She won the silver for her efforts and vowed to get the gold in Salt Lake City.

Jump forward to 2002. Michelle's seasons leading into these Olympic were still fairly good. She lost the gold only once at World's. The year was 1999 and the flu all but assured her that she was going to be off her game. The freaky thing about that competition was that Michelle could have still mathematically won-had Maria Butyrskya had a disastrous skate (which was not out of the question) or if someone beat Maria in the free skate. Unfortunately for Michelle, Maria with gritted teeth (and perhaps sensing that I would have flown to Helsinki and kicked her butt if she messed up) and nerves in check completed a very good free skate. The person that could have beaten Maria to allow Michelle to win that year was a skater by the name of Tatiana Malinina. She was a few months younger than Maria (both were 26) and had she not fallen, her artistic score may have beaten Maria's and Michelle would have won through the complicated mathematical computations that the ISU uses to determine such things.

While Michelle settled for the silver at Helsinki that year, but she would go onto win gold each year after that.

Besides 2002 being an Olympic year, Michelle was talked about that season because she and her longtime coach Frank Carroll split. Many said that this spelled DOOM in regards to Michelle's chances of winning the gold in Salt Lake. Amidst the buzz, I tended to fall on the side of the 1984 Olympic gold medalist, now sports commentator Scott Hamilton when he said that "Frank did all that he could do for her. It was up to Michelle to put it into practice."

Michelle as we all know, won the bronze. She fell in her free skate. The jump she fell on was the triple flip, which seems to be her bete noir. Sarah Hughes had the skate of her life and the Eastern bloc judges, apparently showing that math is a terrible thing to waste, forgot about Sarah's scores when they conspired to weight Irina Slutskaya's scores such that she would win the free skate and (so they thought) the gold medal. The Russian federation protested a bit about Sarah's win until they probably realized that in light of the debacle of the pairs' judging and the fact that they would have to explain how exactly Irina was screwed, they opted to leave it alone and award her a gold medal when she returned to Russia.
This was a medal made of real gold, not the composite that makes up the Olympic gold medals or so they (the Russian Federation) was so found of were saying at the time.
Michelle vowed again to work hard and come back to the Olympics and win the gold.

Flash to 2005.

Michelle is now considered the elderstateswoman of her sport with a lot to prove. She chose a shortened schedule a la Todd Eldredge, but unlike Todd who still particpated in the Grand Prix series and kept up with amateur skatings changes and adapted as he could, Michelle chose only to compete in the USA National Championships and Worlds.

Between 2002 and 2005, Michelle compiled the following scorecard:
-Tied Maribel Vinson Owens' record of 9 US Championships, which was good.
-Won one more gold at Worlds in 2003, which was also good.
-After a rough competition in 2004 and managed to walk away with the bronze, which was less good.
-Came away with bupkis (nothing) in the 2005 Worlds which saw an ill Irina Slutskaya win the gold with no help from the judges. (In fact, they did not think that she would do much).

After the most disappointing season of her recent career and currently combating injuries, mid 20-Something Michelle Kwan will compete for the chance to go to the 2006 Olympics in Turino, Italy against a field of youngesters who are a bit more technically sound and that are well...younger.

Karl Malone told Michelle that she needed to be serious and do the work if she meant to win the gold in 2006. There are times where it looks like she took the talk to heart and then there are times like last season where you wonder.

I am less secure in the thought that Michelle will win gold this time around. The odds are very much against her this time. However, much like 2002, the only person that can take the gold away from Michelle is Michelle. I will be watching the US Nationals with great interest.

I found the spot where Karl Malone and Michelle Kwan talked about winning to be very interesting. There are lessons that coaches and players of other sports can teach to each other.

Will Michelle find as the late coach NC State basketball coach Jim Valvano like to call, that one last hat trick to win her 10th US National Championship (and further cement her legend in US Figure Skating) and the gold in Turino? Will she take to heart the sentiment of Marta Karolyi, who said, "this is a world for the tough" and of University of Arizona basketball coach Lute Olson who told his 1997 NCAA Championship team-a team no one saw beating the invincible University of Kentucky Wildcats-that only "the tough survive"? Will she remember Jud Heathcoate's instruction that it is not enough to have talent but that you have to perform? (His 1979 Michigan State Spartans, led by Earvin "Magic" Johnson definitely performed).

In figure skating's amateur ranks, 26 is the age at which most women retire. Some retire sooner and others hang in to complete unfinished business. Sometimes, the business goes unfinished.

Will Michelle emerge from her quest for the one "hole" in her resume? Who knows? If she does fall short, the question she will ask herself is, "did I try my best and was I tough enough?"

If she can answer 'yes' to both, then she has nothing to be ashamed of. No one who can answer 'yes' to both question has anything to be ashamed of.

Small things matter

(This was forwarded to me. I think there is a lot that is relevant.)

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

• I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
• I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
• I would have talked less and listened more.
• I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
• I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
• I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
• I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
• I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
• I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
• I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
• I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
• Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist in a miracle.
• When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
• There would have been more "I love you's."
• More "I'm sorry's."
• But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it .. live it .and never give it back.
• Stop sweating the small stuff.
• Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
• Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Andre Norton died today at 93

Andre Norton died today at 93. She lived almost a century, which is more of a norm today than it was in the past, when she was born.

She is best known as the author of the "Witchworld" series. I finally had the pleasure of reading one of these novels. She was a skillful writer who knew how to hold your attention. The novel that I read was published in 1968, so I made allowances for the conventions that were typical of the 1960s-the cover art with the scantily clad sorceress, the whole "captured princess" scenario.

Though from the old school, Andre recognized the new media by having a website and an email address.

Admittedly, until I read about Marion Zimmer Bradley's untimely death, I thought that Andre was a man. I am glad to be proven wrong.

I hope to live to be 93. I hope also to be able to die with dignity as Ms. Norton did and with pride at what I was able to accomplish.

I am...that is

You could be described as...
Hopelessly romantic *sigh*
Quiet and observant... Sad but beautiful
The center of attention!
A loner Ultra-cool.
Damn straight.
Very.. uh.. eccentric
Totally easygoing Fun-loving, hoo yeah! Loud and bold, dammit!
Serene and peaceful

If you were a food, you would be...
Strawberries dipped in chocolate
Italian ice (lemon)
Dark chocolate truffles
Green tea ice cream
Chips and salsa or nachos Some sort of takeout Catered cheese sampler Steak, very rare Spicy Thai noodles Olives (with pimento)

If you were a drink, you would be....
Ice water Martini Coke Coffee Orangina Green tea Lemonade Hot chocolate Red wine Margarita Espresso

Choose that which is most important to you:
Freedom Sense of self Beauty Attention Solitude Personality Leisure Enjoyment Power PassionIndividuality

Pick your favorite movie:
Austin Powers
Moulin Rouge
Blade Runner
The Joy Luck Club
Almost Famous
Casablanca
Being John Malkovich

If you were to get a tattoo, which would you choose?
Your zodiac sign Something tribal Moon and/or stars Stylized cat Pair of dice Broken heart Skull (crossbones optional) Grinning sun Pair of wings Chinese or Japanese charactersRose

Pick a color (or set):
Warm golden yellow Sepia tones Black Shades of blue Slate grey Bright green Deep red Pale grey and white Vibrant orange Neon anythingIntense red

What negative personality trait do you most exhibit? (be honest!)
Weepy/moody, just to get attention Doormat syndrome - you don't speak up for yourself Too aloof/out of touch with reality Chronic apathy/lack of care Have to be the center of attention at all times Superiority complex Overly sensitive Shallowness Bossiness/bully-like traits Trying too hard to be different to the point of falsityPurposefully distancing yourself from just about everyone

Favorite item of jewelry:
Lots of gold bangles Gold ball earrings Vintage rhinestone choker Studded leather cuff Big ball-chain necklace Stacked thrift store beaded bracelets No jewelry, thanks Personalized gold necklace, à la Sex and the City Simple silver bangle Small silver hoop earringsThin gold chain with a pendant

Which is something you might say (or something someone might say about you)?
"Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly."
- Dream, Neil Gaiman's The Sandman

"I don't run the show, I am the show." - Rachael, Blade Runner

"I can pretend that things last." - Destruction, Neil Gaiman's The Sandman

"Above all things I believe in love! Love is like oxygen, love is a many-splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!"
- Christian, Moulin Rouge

"I do what I want. You have problem?" - Quina Quen, Final Fantasy IX

"In the brave new world of the year 2000, a kiss can still break your heart."
- Program from Cirque du Soleil's Alegria

"Make them laugh. They'll have a hard time shooting you."
- Program from Cirque du Soleil's Alegria

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." - William Blake

"Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no one's ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream? ...Green mouse ice cream was the worst. I didn't like that at all."
- Delerium, Neil Gaiman's The Sandman

"I'm so cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month! I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis!"
- Zaphod Beeblebrox, Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"He's gotta be the tragic figure standing in the rain, mourning the loss of his beloved. So down comes the rain, right on cue."
- Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Neil Gaiman's The Sandman

http://womenshistory.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http%3A%2F%2Fdrhill.tripod.com%2Fuwil.htm

Fighting the law and the ...

It's funny. It used to be a shameful thing to get arrested, be caught taking drugs or caught having an affair. Now it seems that if you lie about your investments and go to jail, you can be more bankable than when you went in. It is acceptable to be on tv telling of how dumb you were and how your wrecked the lives of others.

Michael Jackson
Interesting how he and Jesse Jackson now have an alliance. His career is over in the US.

Robert Blake
Even if I believe him and somewhat side with him in regards to the fact that his now dead wife swindled him. Who hires an old washed up homicidal maniac?

Phil Spector
Ronnie, his ex and lead singer of the Ronnettes could have told everyone what he was about.

Scott Peterson
Unfortunately the moral of the story is don't get pregnant by a man who does not love you.

Martha Stewart
White collar crime always pays.

what's your cowboy bebop theme song?

Hopes and Dreams, Ways and Means

It was Albert Einstein that said that it was all right to build castles in the air but that one must put a foundation beneath them.

I think that dreams are wonderful things but perhaps endless dreams without hope is pointless.

The Survey

Name: What's in a name?
Birthday: January 19
Birthplace: Boston, MA
Current Location: Somerville, MA
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: off-Brown
Height: 5'4"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right handed
Your Heritage: American
The Shoes You Wore Today: Old School Sneakers
Your Weakness: Not believing in myself which can lead to a certain
indecisiveness
Your Fears: Worry for my friends and family and the future
Your Perfect Pizza: Chicken Barbeque
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Continue to save money,
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: :)
Thoughts First Waking Up: "I have to get up, don't I?"
Your Best Physical Feature: Smile
Your Bedtime: Whenever I am tired
Your Most Missed Memory: Car trips with anyone but my family
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: BK (for their fries)
Single or Group Dates: Single if necessary but Groups are fine too
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Both in a Ripple
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee (unless it is a Frapucinno)
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: Yes
Do you Sing: Yes
Do you Shower Daily: Yes (I don't want to meet the person that would
say no to that question and not be in dire straits)
Have you Been in Love: Yes (disastrously)
Do you want to go to College: Yes (I actually want to do it again)
Do you want to get Married: Yes (if certain criteria were met)
Do you belive in yourself: Yes, but not as much as I should
Do you get Motion Sickness: No
Do you think you are Attractive: I was told that I was unconventially
pretty once
Are you a Health Freak: No
Do you get along with your Parents: No. Mother is dead and I did get
along well with her.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes, if inside a safe structure. It is
quite the aphrodisiac
Do you play an Instrument: Yes
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes
In the past month have you Smoked: No
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: No, but I will be on April 28
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No, but I have been
known to sleep nude almost year round
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: Yes but not on a regular basis and never so wasted
that I was not aware of what is going on or think again about an idea
that seemed cool at the time to do but would have been a great mistake
if sober
Ever been called a Tease: Yes
Ever been Beaten up: Yes
Ever Shoplifted: Yes, but not anymore since I became an adult but as a
kid I was quite the felon AND I never got caught...
How do you want to Die: Dunno. Instantly would be the best.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Again, No clue. Some kind of
scientist I think or new media person... Or maybe just a witch.
What country would you most like to Visit: Japan (again), Southeast
Asia (still want to), Wales and the least deadliest country in Africa
In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: Brown or Blue
Favourite Hair Color: Dark (though apparently I have a weakness for blondes)
Short or Long Hair: Longish (usually)
Height:
Depends
Weight:
DependsBest Clothing Style:
Whatever looks good on them and myself. Clean is
usually a good yardstick.Number of Drugs I have taken:
erm... Not anything that I can get arrested for.Number of CDs I own:
14 ( I am slow to transition to the format)Number of Piercings:
2
Number of Tattoos:
0 (Do scars count?)
Number of things in my Past I Regret:
One is listening to every voice except my own. The other two are not printable.

My Movie Survey

Favorite...

Comedy: Airplane, Airplane II, DC Cab

Romantic Comedy: Tom Jones (I don't do romantic comedies a whole lot)

Romance: The Notebook, The Crow, Say Anything

Drama: Nothin' But a Man, Garden State, Daughters of the Dust, Hoosiers, Cooley High

Family:

Childhood/Children:
Rats of NIMH, The Last Unicorn, Raggedy Ann and Andy and the Camel with the baggy knees, Neverending Story, Dark Crystal

Animated:

Computer-Animated: The Incredibles

Foreign: Fanny and Alexander, Nobody Knows, Scrooge, The Rules of the Game, Madame de..., Tampopo

Documentary: When We were Kings, Not For Ourselves Alone, The Civil War, TR, Eleanor Roosevelt, Midnight Ramble, The Lady Chieftains, Glory in Black and White, Who was Lee Harvey Oswald, The Civil War, Jazz, Frida Kahlo, Johnny Cash

Science Fiction: Star Wars, Contact, Return of the Jedi

Action: Terminator 2, Posse

Horror: Tales From the Crypt, Creepshow, Sleepwalkers, Red Rose

Thriller/Suspense: Charade, Runaway Jury

Trilogy or Series: Star Wars

Other:

Movie that you could watch over and over and over: The Emperor's New Groove, The Incredibles. The Notebook, The Majestic, Say Anything, Johnny Cash, Cooley High



Movie that made you...

Laugh the hardest/most: The Incredibles

Cry the most/hardest: I don't cry

Want to kiss somebody: The Notebook, A Little Romance

Change something in your life (what was it?):

Inspired/Motivated: Neverending Story, Contact

Favorite movie of all time: I don't know...