Monday, February 21, 2005

The 60

Today would have been my mother's 60th birthday. What would she have been able to tell me about her 60 years? Would she have told me that as far as we have come, that we still have far to go? Would she have lamented the old days when things seemed clearer? Or would she have just looked at the years ahead with optimism?

I don't know. Maybe she just would have told me that she loved me.

Happy Birthday, Mom.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

The Retraction

Well, I have some good news and bad news.

The good news is that I found my walkman. We are in the middle of a move to new office space and I placed it in one of the bags I had. I was very happy when I found it but then I realized that I cast apersions on the characters of my coworkers. Granted, some of it is earned but I went ahead and determined that one of them was the thief and this attitude effectively coloured my whole day, making me less than productive.

That was the bad news-the fact that I jumped to a conclusion and did not consider all options.

There is a Chinese parable that one of the Taoist masters told and it went something like this.

A man who was a woodcutter came back from lunch and found his ax missing. He looked for it in the area where he was working. He remembered that there was a boy who was hanging around. At first, he though him lazy, because he did not seem him working. When he saw the boy again, he thought that the boy took the ax. He thought that the boy walked like a theif and acted like a theif. The woodcutter then found his ax lying right where he had left it-inside of a stump. He had done this to keep it from being stolen while he had gone to lunch. He felt badly about accusing the boy, even though he had not confronted him, he had jumped to a conclusion.
Now when he saw the boy, he saw a boy who walked upright and honorably.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Maturity

Michael Jackson has been accused of having "Peter Pan Syndrome." For those who aren't familiar with it, it means that this is a person who does not wish to take on adult responsibilities.
I don't know that I suffer from that, it does occur to me that I should be having more fun than I am currently having and I feel that being an adult should not suck so much.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy to:

A) Still be alive
B) Still be alive and healthy
C) Recognize that my life could be truly miserable

I guess that I want to experience what some people experience, which is that unbearable lightness of being that motivates you to live your life to the full. That feeling that children usually have that makes them want to get up in the morning.

I get the feeling that adults lose this and fast and we spend the declining years trying to get it back. That's why we buy the gadgets and get the face-lifts and crowd the studio audiences of Tony Robbins, Dr. Phil, Oprah, Suze Orman and whoever else seems to tell us that there is a way to find it.

I am not in the age group of that demographic. I am in the demographic that makes up the eldest of their children, who were told to do certain things and to take on certain values even if we saw how flawed they were.

I did not expect every day to be great but life is a bowl of cherries. True, some of it is the pits but a lot of it is sweet. I think I want a little more sweet.

I guess the fact that I lost a second walkman in a year has got me down. I am down because I obviously did not learn my lesson from last time about coworkers and thievery. Well, I learned it now. I think I just hate the fact that people steal and will steal junk. The walkman had more sentimental value that dollar value. It was a walkman, not an ipod.

Well, maturity is knowing that into everyone's day a little rain must fall.

So why get wet? Where is my umbrella?

I suppose that's what maturity is also, knowing that mummies and/or daddies can't kiss it and make it all better. I will need to find my own umbrella.

Wednesday, February 9, 2005

Hotel Rwanda

Well, last night I saw 'Hotel Rwanda.'

I have a confession to make. There are times when I feel so very low and hopeless that I need to see something or be exposed to something that reminds me that I am still in control of my own destiny. I decided yesterday that 'Hotel Rwanda' was to be that something.

I appreciated that the movie had no easy answers about anything. The war in Rwanda was easy but complex. It was definitely a morality tale about who your real friends are. Or is it? The hero of the story, Paul, got them through because he paid off a lot of people and curried favour. Pretty much as he told his wife, he stored some "Don Corleones" which totally saved their lives at times.

It's nice to know that everyone has a price, which seems to be an underlying theme to this film also. Paul was told by Nick Nolte's character that basically Blacks were not worth the trouble to save. White skin had a currency that Black skin could not match. The next level down, it was clear that Hutus has a currency that the Tutsis did not. Rather, they redefined it because in Rwanda's history, the Belgians made it good to be Tutsi, not unlike whites in America who made it good to be multiracial so long as you looked more European than Black, Latino, Indian or Asian.

There were other prices to be had. Paul probably would have risked more had his wife and children been safe and had they not been Tutsi. I know that Gregoire totally would have been gone.

I also appreciated the quiet moments in the film. The loving moments between Paul and his wife Tatiana, Paul and his family and the children dancing while chaos erupts around them outside the hotel.

In terms of acting and production, I think that Don Cheadle edges out Jamie Foxx. In my opinion he always has dramatically due to his awesome body of work. Definitely one of the most underrated actors of our time. I think that both are must see and both, while based on the real events were able to create a level of believability that made you forget that everyone is acting and that these are sets.

I wonder about Rwanda now. It has been 11 years. I wonder if they hear about Darfur and remember. I am almost tempted to find a penpal that could tell me.

I am reminded that I am lucky and that I have responsibility to pay forward.

Sunday, February 6, 2005

For the self-righteous: Vow to Quit Meddling By Beth Quinn-Times Herald-Record

I was going to leave the gay marriage issue alone just to save myselfsome grief.
But then I thought, what fun would that be? Somebody's got to irritatethe self-righteous folks who tell the rest of us how to live, and it mightas well be me.
You know who you are, so get your writing implements ready becauseyou'll want to damn me to hell by the time we're done here.
For me, there is one central question in the whole gay marriagecontroversy: What do you care?
What difference does it make in your own life if two gays or lesbiansget married? It simply mystifies me that you feel threatened by this. Whatpossible harm could it do in your personal, little life whether the two guysliving at the end of your block say "I do"?
I keep hearing the same pat answer from your prophets of doom thatallowing homosexuals to marry will "destroy the institution ofmarriage."
Well, I gotta' tell you, a lot of gays and lesbians have been gettingmarried in San Francisco lately, and so far my own institution ofmarriage is doing just fine. I checked. When I heard they were lining up forlicenses, I asked my husband if he felt our marriage was going downhill onaccount of it. He just ignored the question and wanted to know what kind ofperennials I thought we should put in this spring.
I took that as a good sign. Perennials are an investment in the future,so I figure he's sticking around despite what those homosexuals are doing.
So, self-righteous folks, I guess I'm wondering what's wrong with yourown marriages that you feel so threatened by another couple's happiness. Areyou unable to sustain a good sexual relationship knowing that two gayguys are sleeping together in wedded bliss? Are you unable to have anintimate conversation with your spouse because you're distracted by thenotion of two women going off on a honeymoon?
Because if your marriage is that unstable, you should stop worryingabout what others are doing and tend to your own problems before yourdivorce contributes to the decline of the institution of marriage.
I've given this a lot of thought, and I've completely failed to come upwith ways that gay marriage will have an impact on your life. It won'traise your taxes. It won't cause the kid who shovels your driveway toquit.It won't make your laundry dingy. It won't alter the weather. It won'tcause your dog to start passing gas. It won't affect your relationshipwith God. It won't cause you to develop a tumor on your head.
Those of you who would talk about grand concepts like society andinstitutions and pillars and guideposts and moral fibers and whatnot, Isay this is just your excuse for meddling. And history has shown us thatnothing good ever comes of meddling in other people's affairs. Every timeChristians showed up to mess with heathens; for example, we just ended upwith a lot of unhappy heathens with syphilis and smallpox.
Those of you who would point out that the dictionary definition of theword "marriage" involves a man and a woman, let me point out that thedictionary is a living, breathing document that changes as word usagechanges. If you doubt it; look up the word "dot" in a currentedition.
We the people get to decide what's in the dictionary. The dictionarydoesn't get to dictate our societal conventions. Your hair isn't goingto catch on fire if the definition of marriage is eventually changed toread, "two consenting adults" instead of "man and woman."
As for the Bible, which is always the last refuge for those of you whowant to impose your will on us savages; we're not all reading out of thesame book.
More fundamentally, the Bible is not a legal document. If it were, those whofail to love one another would be rounded up and thrown in jail. The prisonbudget would go through the roof what with all the new cells we'd be needingfor the neighbor haters.
I have only this advice to offer those of you who oppose gay marriage:Don't marry a homosexual.
If you're a man and you don't want to marry another man, for crying outloud, stick to your guns! That would be a terrible idea. You'd bemiserable! Same for women. Marry someone of the opposite sex if that'syour personal preference.
We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some aredull, some have weird names, all are different colors but they all have tolearn to live in the same box.

the links list

http://www.bolt.com/journals/page/kitlat/Weblog

http://rdhigh.blogspot.com/

http://www.livejournal.com/users/ladydayelle/

http://www.xanga.com/kitlat

http://moreexplore.blogspot.com/

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?



Links

http://kitlat.diaryland.com/

http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/ladydayelle/

http://amystickalgrove.zzn.com/email/english/login/login.asp?SubDomain=amystickalgrove

http://www.exploration-.blinkz.com/

http://www.bloglines.com/blog/kitlat

http://www.bolt.com/journals/page/kitlat/Weblog

http://rdhigh.blogspot.com/

http://www.livejournal.com/users/ladydayelle/

http://www.xanga.com/kitlat

http://moreexplore.blogspot.com/

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&blogID=9280267&friendID=
3592208&Mytoken=20041206173430

http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/exploration

http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/exploration/kitlat/

http://blog.angelfire.lycos.com/service/blog/control.blog?
a=manage&blog_id=144473

http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/exploration/volunteer/

http://build.ivillage.com/trellix/sitebuilder/f_edit_page.html

http://pages.ivillage.com/ladyday99/

http://pages.ivillage.com/ladyday99/myday

http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/

http://pages.ivillage.com/ladydayelle/myday/

http://pages.ivillage.com/ladydayelle/
fuseaction=blog.view&blogID=9280267&friendID=
3592208&Mytoken=20041206173430

http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/exploration

http://www.angelfire.com/zine2/exploration/kitlat/

http://blog.angelfire.lycos.com/service/blog/control.blog?a=manage&blog_id=144473

http://build.ivillage.com/trellix/sitebuilder/f_edit_page.html

http://pages.ivillage.com/ladyday99/

http://pages.ivillage.com/ladyday99/myday

Thursday, February 3, 2005

Debrief- Tsunami Fundraiser hosted by Room to Read Boston

In case anyone was wondering, the event was a success. Room to Read Boston raised $10,000 for the tsunami survivors in Sri Lanka. Dr. Ruffing and the Sackstein twins were a hit. They embodied what I think is the best in humanity. I don't say that lightly. In the case of the Sackstein twins, they saw a problem and came up with a solution. They did not let people dissuade them because they were kids, which can often happen. They run this venture more professionally than some adults I can think of.

Ron Ruffing said something that I remembered hearing as a child. He said that his mother told him that, "those to whom much have been given are those of which much is expected." I was made to feel that way for most of my life. I think it is page three of the "Life as a Black person in America" handbook. I remember feeling very guilty at that point. I speak a lot about how people forget how lucky they are and recalled how I griped about my job, which I chose. I had the freedom to chose something. I complained about being tired earlier and remembered that I really had not a clue of what it meant to be REALLY TIRED.

It was great to be surround by a good mix of people. People who were very well off, people who had a little more than enough and people who had enough but wanted to do for others because they realized that fate could have decreed that they could have been the unfortunate ones. If any of you were there and saw someone in a red top and black pants quietly policing the area, that was me. I would also like to hear from you if you were there. I am big on feedback.We are planning another mini-fundraiser in the fall. We also have 3 people who are interested in coordinating our Read a Thon effort. The Read A Thon is an initiative where elementary school kids will read book and collect pledges based on the number of pages that they have read. The proceeds will go to Room to Read to build a reading room. For those of us who are a wee bit older, it is similar to the MS read a thon. So far we have a school in Lexington interested. The three people who were interested last night came from Framingham, Worcester and Waltham.

So in all, it was a good night and well worth missing Wife Swap.

Review: The Tale of the Dark Crystal

The Tale of the Dark Crystal by Donna Bass My rating: 4 of 5 stars View all my reviews